Thursday, December 27, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
no doubt you've all heard of this:
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,22902781-601,00.html
look - I'm not australian,I am not of-color. but I know a gross miscarriage of justice when I see one.
and what do you say about something like this?
it's a gordian knot of outrage.
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,22902781-601,00.html
look - I'm not australian,I am not of-color. but I know a gross miscarriage of justice when I see one.
and what do you say about something like this?
it's a gordian knot of outrage.
Friday, December 07, 2007
(an expansion of a comment from a couple of posts down)
a full seven days too late for World AIDS day...but better late than never:
So - "sexpox".
I think the term originated a couple of months back, as a way to convey contempt for people who espouse a non-anti-porn, non-anti-sexwork, non-anti-BDSM, "sex-positive" point of view.
And then it was bandied about by people who espouse a "sex-positive" point of view, as a sort of snide self-identification, as a way to convey contempt for people who used the term to convey contempt for "sex-positive" people.
Now that I think about it, despite the fact that it's catchy and easy to remember and evocative and really, only five or six people use the term in its pejorative on a regular so maybe it's not such a big deal - I gotta say, I'm agin' it.
cuz, y'all, what about AIDS?
whatever side of the porn/sexwork/bdsm fence you sit on, what about AIDS, y'all?
I'm not HIV+, nor am I an AIDS activist. But I know people who work long and hard to purge the idea from the human consciousness that there is some consensual sexual behavior that deserves PUNISHMENT. Not just any punishment, but The Biggest, Baddest, Most Punishing Punishment - long, slow, conspicuously Capital Punishment in the form of a wasting disease, with clearly visible physical benchmarks of its progress as it slowly kills its victims.
so, when I see the word "sexpox", I don't think of cute hawtt titjobbed bisexee suckfuckers who giggle and simper on their spindly heels and tilt their empty heads and smile while cooing "ooh! I'm so empowerful! aren't I, Nigel?"
(and even if I did get that mental picture, it wouldn't match any of the individuals I know who identify as "sex-positive." the gulf of understanding here is unbridgeable, apparently, when it comes to that.)
when I see the word "sexpox", I think of a fatal disease that happens to people who fuck the wrong way, and need to be punished before they can die as a consequence for their behavior.
I mean, I guess, if you think there's a type of consenting adult sexual behavior that NEEDS to be punished by a fatal disease, because that behavior is THAT SINFUL that people who do it need years and years of suffering until they've repented enough to die in misery, then by all means continue slinging around "sexpox" like it's no more harmful than "tranny" or "faggot". (eyeroll)
but if you really think that there's a type of consenting adult sexual behavior that deserves the death penalty, may I humbly suggest you examine what that really means.
and if you think I'm being petty or trivial or oversensitive or coopting a movement of oppressed people in order to grind my own personal axe, may I say
FUCK YOU.
a full seven days too late for World AIDS day...but better late than never:
So - "sexpox".
I think the term originated a couple of months back, as a way to convey contempt for people who espouse a non-anti-porn, non-anti-sexwork, non-anti-BDSM, "sex-positive" point of view.
And then it was bandied about by people who espouse a "sex-positive" point of view, as a sort of snide self-identification, as a way to convey contempt for people who used the term to convey contempt for "sex-positive" people.
Now that I think about it, despite the fact that it's catchy and easy to remember and evocative and really, only five or six people use the term in its pejorative on a regular so maybe it's not such a big deal - I gotta say, I'm agin' it.
cuz, y'all, what about AIDS?
whatever side of the porn/sexwork/bdsm fence you sit on, what about AIDS, y'all?
I'm not HIV+, nor am I an AIDS activist. But I know people who work long and hard to purge the idea from the human consciousness that there is some consensual sexual behavior that deserves PUNISHMENT. Not just any punishment, but The Biggest, Baddest, Most Punishing Punishment - long, slow, conspicuously Capital Punishment in the form of a wasting disease, with clearly visible physical benchmarks of its progress as it slowly kills its victims.
so, when I see the word "sexpox", I don't think of cute hawtt titjobbed bisexee suckfuckers who giggle and simper on their spindly heels and tilt their empty heads and smile while cooing "ooh! I'm so empowerful! aren't I, Nigel?"
(and even if I did get that mental picture, it wouldn't match any of the individuals I know who identify as "sex-positive." the gulf of understanding here is unbridgeable, apparently, when it comes to that.)
when I see the word "sexpox", I think of a fatal disease that happens to people who fuck the wrong way, and need to be punished before they can die as a consequence for their behavior.
I mean, I guess, if you think there's a type of consenting adult sexual behavior that NEEDS to be punished by a fatal disease, because that behavior is THAT SINFUL that people who do it need years and years of suffering until they've repented enough to die in misery, then by all means continue slinging around "sexpox" like it's no more harmful than "tranny" or "faggot". (eyeroll)
but if you really think that there's a type of consenting adult sexual behavior that deserves the death penalty, may I humbly suggest you examine what that really means.
and if you think I'm being petty or trivial or oversensitive or coopting a movement of oppressed people in order to grind my own personal axe, may I say
FUCK YOU.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
more fun-n-games courtesy the fine folks at A View From A Broad:
said Ginmar:
Mrs. Bates is not a feminist. She's an anti-feminist. She's named her blog something that parodies Twisty, so basically, she's a fucking wannabe who can't accomplish anything unless she's bashing radfems. That's all she's got.
That kid is going to be a rapist by high school. She hates other women that much, that viciously. That whole crew is like the biggest gift the MRA movement ever got.
(Mrs. Bates = me, in case you're not paying attention.)
now, see, if she's so worried about Wolfgang's dick already, maybe she ought to be calling the police NOW, and save us all the trouble fourteen years from now. Think of the women she'd be saving from his poison gaze and rapacious libido, if he spends his entire life under the watchful gaze of prison guards, who will of course do everything in their power to make extra sure he doesn't grow up to be a rapist! God, Ginmar, I thought you were pro-woman. Won't you think of the women? pleeeeeeeeease?
Alternately, if she has any strong opinions on how NOT to raise a rapist, I'd wish she'd share them.
seriously - I also wish we could talk TO each other, rather than have to engage in this mutual-bathroom-wall-scrawling we're doing here. But I know good and well that without resorting to anon-commenting on her LJ, which would be a temporary (and kind of sneaky) measure at best, there's no way she'll allow me to speak to her directly. which I find sad.
On the other flipper, Crankycrone_101 said something intriguing, to wit:
If she had a girl, then she would have to start examining her *brand* of feminism. Things like, wall-to-wall porn in every home and shop, not exactly a good idea. The sexualisation of teen and pre-teen girls, objectification of wimmin, also, not a good idea. Fear of rape or child molestation, a genuine concern.
The list goes on...
Gotta give the devil his due, this is quite an intriguing proposition.
well, okay! let's examine!
I mean, would I treat a girl differently than I treat a boy? How would I cope with the obviously harmful sexism in media? How would I cope with any sexual pressure she might feel as a youngish child/teenager?
mind you, fear of rape or child molestation is a genuine concern, but I believe is pretty much the same concern whether one's child is male or female. So I don't see where I'd have to do a different examination for a girl than for a boy.
Also, how a healthy girl CHILD conducts her affairs seems to me to be vastly different than how a healthy girl ADULT conducts her affairs. How I as a grownup see the world might not necessarily be appropriate for a ten-year-old, for lots of reasons.
Maybe the way I'd treat a girl would turn her into some kind of predatory beast...it could happen, I suppose.
I'd like to tell her that nobody owns her body, not even her parents.
I'd like to tell her that the television lies, that pictures in magazines are fraudulent, that no means no, that it's okay to be who you are and feel how you feel and want what you want and not worry about what boys (or other girls) might think. I'd like to tell her that The Patriarchy is bullshit and nobody has authority over another person based on chromosomes alone. (which I'd also tell a boy.) I'd like to make her aware of the divine spark of life present in all humanity. I'd like to let her know her parents love her no matter what, even if she grows up to be a stripper or a prostitute or a lawyer or a stockbroker. yes, even a stockbroker.
so, that's all the examination I got for now. but Crankycrone_101 sure does have me thinking. what about y'all?
said Ginmar:
Mrs. Bates is not a feminist. She's an anti-feminist. She's named her blog something that parodies Twisty, so basically, she's a fucking wannabe who can't accomplish anything unless she's bashing radfems. That's all she's got.
That kid is going to be a rapist by high school. She hates other women that much, that viciously. That whole crew is like the biggest gift the MRA movement ever got.
(Mrs. Bates = me, in case you're not paying attention.)
now, see, if she's so worried about Wolfgang's dick already, maybe she ought to be calling the police NOW, and save us all the trouble fourteen years from now. Think of the women she'd be saving from his poison gaze and rapacious libido, if he spends his entire life under the watchful gaze of prison guards, who will of course do everything in their power to make extra sure he doesn't grow up to be a rapist! God, Ginmar, I thought you were pro-woman. Won't you think of the women? pleeeeeeeeease?
Alternately, if she has any strong opinions on how NOT to raise a rapist, I'd wish she'd share them.
seriously - I also wish we could talk TO each other, rather than have to engage in this mutual-bathroom-wall-scrawling we're doing here. But I know good and well that without resorting to anon-commenting on her LJ, which would be a temporary (and kind of sneaky) measure at best, there's no way she'll allow me to speak to her directly. which I find sad.
On the other flipper, Crankycrone_101 said something intriguing, to wit:
If she had a girl, then she would have to start examining her *brand* of feminism. Things like, wall-to-wall porn in every home and shop, not exactly a good idea. The sexualisation of teen and pre-teen girls, objectification of wimmin, also, not a good idea. Fear of rape or child molestation, a genuine concern.
The list goes on...
Gotta give the devil his due, this is quite an intriguing proposition.
well, okay! let's examine!
I mean, would I treat a girl differently than I treat a boy? How would I cope with the obviously harmful sexism in media? How would I cope with any sexual pressure she might feel as a youngish child/teenager?
mind you, fear of rape or child molestation is a genuine concern, but I believe is pretty much the same concern whether one's child is male or female. So I don't see where I'd have to do a different examination for a girl than for a boy.
Also, how a healthy girl CHILD conducts her affairs seems to me to be vastly different than how a healthy girl ADULT conducts her affairs. How I as a grownup see the world might not necessarily be appropriate for a ten-year-old, for lots of reasons.
Maybe the way I'd treat a girl would turn her into some kind of predatory beast...it could happen, I suppose.
I'd like to tell her that nobody owns her body, not even her parents.
I'd like to tell her that the television lies, that pictures in magazines are fraudulent, that no means no, that it's okay to be who you are and feel how you feel and want what you want and not worry about what boys (or other girls) might think. I'd like to tell her that The Patriarchy is bullshit and nobody has authority over another person based on chromosomes alone. (which I'd also tell a boy.) I'd like to make her aware of the divine spark of life present in all humanity. I'd like to let her know her parents love her no matter what, even if she grows up to be a stripper or a prostitute or a lawyer or a stockbroker. yes, even a stockbroker.
so, that's all the examination I got for now. but Crankycrone_101 sure does have me thinking. what about y'all?
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
So, I haven't done a lot of blogging recently. you may blame (or thank, according to your taste) the parasitic patriarch currently laying siege to my innards.
Seriously - the baby doesn't like it when I blog. He doesn't like it when I get my blood pressure all up and get all flappy and neurotic. he would much rather I stay relaxed, knit some stuff, have another Mountain Dew, lick an ashtray or two...
(actually that's not completely true. after all, I haven't knit anything for the baby.)
But I've tried not to get really overinvolved in blogwars in an unhealthy way lately, mostly because it does seem to be bad for the pregnancy (it makes me feel physically uncomfortable in a way that I can only assume to be pregnancy-related), but also because, you know, I see this stuff going on, and I think "a-ha! I can fix this, with my Pearls Of Wisdom! For I am so wise! behold my soooooooooper powers!" and I'm all full of optimism that what I say will be Part of The Solution, but by the time it gets out of my brain, through my fingers and on to the screen, it is clear that I'm just another Part of The Problem.
so, what's the point, really.
On the other hand, once in a blue moon, shit blows up in a way even I at my most broodmarishly maternal can't really ignore.
The executive summary? somewhere in the miasma of comments on Ginmar's blog, there occurred this exchange:
crankycrone_101
Hey Laurelin, even though technically not a death threat - don't forget the EXTREMELY LARGE FONTED "fuck you" to a select few radfems from butter-wouldn't-melt AntiPrincess!There is telling someone "fuck you".And telling them "fuck you" in uber-font.
ginmar
Typical Anti-P. Is this recent? I'm so glad she's having a baby. She'll be such a wonderful mother to the next Norman Bates.
crankycrone_101
I believe it was fairly soon after RenEv's "choking.." post, a week or two after(?)Perhaps we just call her Mrs Bates from now on? Her Norman will be one of the most impressive misogynists around, perhaps even become famous. What an honour!
ginmar:
Mrs. Bates? I like that. Mrs. Bates it is.
(here is the post under discussion. draw your own conclusions.)
My question is, how on earth does one respond to this in a way that doesn't just declare a permanent state of blogwar between the parties involved, ever expanding and never ending?
We have always been at war with Oceania...
yeah, I don't want that. For one thing, I'm way wicked lazy. So, I'm thinking there's got to be a better way.
I guess the main complaint (or one of the main complaints) lodged by the radfemblogosphere against the...the...sexpoxosphere? is that WE don't examine our choices, as we just blindly sort of drift along in life, like little baby oysters floating around until we find something big and masculine and privileged to anchor ourselves to. or something.
Well, I gotta tell you, after that whole Mrs. Bates thing, I'm in quite a state of examination, that's for sure. so maybe they'll get off my ass a little if I publicly EXAMINE that. How do I make absolutely positively sure the products of conception I'm currently incubating don't develop from an amorphous blob to a homicidal misogynist?
maybe I should have nipped this little problem in the bud six or so months ago. at least, it would have been easier to take the necessary medical steps to make sure the amorphous blob would never develop into a goddamn thing. and it's not too late, really.
But I'd rather have a baby.
One thing I could do is "refuse to nurse the male neonate", once it's born. that would ensure he wouldn't grow up to be the next Norman Bates.
But again, I'd rather have a baby.
I guess another thing I could do is refrain from sexually and emotionally abusing the baby once he's here. I could also treat him like a human being, and not a dangerous and hideous blight on the otherwise-stainless landscape of Womynland. I (and his father) could teach him not to be fucked-up about masculinity and femininity. we could teach him about the basic divinity and grace present in every living soul, male and female. we could teach him that no means no, and that television lies, and that magazine pictures are largely fraudulent. We could teach him lots of ways to stay sane in an insane world, that don't involve being a total asshole.
we could, in the immortal words of Bill and Ted on their Excellent Adventure, all learn to be excellent to each other.
hey, you know what?
maybe I should look at it this way: you may have saved a life, Gin. you're a regular angel. Thanks, Ginmar! I feel so much better, now that I've examined my choice to be humane with my child and endeavor to raise a decent human being.
yeah, if I hadn't already decided that in the first place, without your "help"...
Seriously - the baby doesn't like it when I blog. He doesn't like it when I get my blood pressure all up and get all flappy and neurotic. he would much rather I stay relaxed, knit some stuff, have another Mountain Dew, lick an ashtray or two...
(actually that's not completely true. after all, I haven't knit anything for the baby.)
But I've tried not to get really overinvolved in blogwars in an unhealthy way lately, mostly because it does seem to be bad for the pregnancy (it makes me feel physically uncomfortable in a way that I can only assume to be pregnancy-related), but also because, you know, I see this stuff going on, and I think "a-ha! I can fix this, with my Pearls Of Wisdom! For I am so wise! behold my soooooooooper powers!" and I'm all full of optimism that what I say will be Part of The Solution, but by the time it gets out of my brain, through my fingers and on to the screen, it is clear that I'm just another Part of The Problem.
so, what's the point, really.
On the other hand, once in a blue moon, shit blows up in a way even I at my most broodmarishly maternal can't really ignore.
The executive summary? somewhere in the miasma of comments on Ginmar's blog, there occurred this exchange:
crankycrone_101
Hey Laurelin, even though technically not a death threat - don't forget the EXTREMELY LARGE FONTED "fuck you" to a select few radfems from butter-wouldn't-melt AntiPrincess!There is telling someone "fuck you".And telling them "fuck you" in uber-font.
ginmar
Typical Anti-P. Is this recent? I'm so glad she's having a baby. She'll be such a wonderful mother to the next Norman Bates.
crankycrone_101
I believe it was fairly soon after RenEv's "choking.." post, a week or two after(?)Perhaps we just call her Mrs Bates from now on? Her Norman will be one of the most impressive misogynists around, perhaps even become famous. What an honour!
ginmar:
Mrs. Bates? I like that. Mrs. Bates it is.
(here is the post under discussion. draw your own conclusions.)
My question is, how on earth does one respond to this in a way that doesn't just declare a permanent state of blogwar between the parties involved, ever expanding and never ending?
We have always been at war with Oceania...
yeah, I don't want that. For one thing, I'm way wicked lazy. So, I'm thinking there's got to be a better way.
I guess the main complaint (or one of the main complaints) lodged by the radfemblogosphere against the...the...sexpoxosphere? is that WE don't examine our choices, as we just blindly sort of drift along in life, like little baby oysters floating around until we find something big and masculine and privileged to anchor ourselves to. or something.
Well, I gotta tell you, after that whole Mrs. Bates thing, I'm in quite a state of examination, that's for sure. so maybe they'll get off my ass a little if I publicly EXAMINE that. How do I make absolutely positively sure the products of conception I'm currently incubating don't develop from an amorphous blob to a homicidal misogynist?
maybe I should have nipped this little problem in the bud six or so months ago. at least, it would have been easier to take the necessary medical steps to make sure the amorphous blob would never develop into a goddamn thing. and it's not too late, really.
But I'd rather have a baby.
One thing I could do is "refuse to nurse the male neonate", once it's born. that would ensure he wouldn't grow up to be the next Norman Bates.
But again, I'd rather have a baby.
I guess another thing I could do is refrain from sexually and emotionally abusing the baby once he's here. I could also treat him like a human being, and not a dangerous and hideous blight on the otherwise-stainless landscape of Womynland. I (and his father) could teach him not to be fucked-up about masculinity and femininity. we could teach him about the basic divinity and grace present in every living soul, male and female. we could teach him that no means no, and that television lies, and that magazine pictures are largely fraudulent. We could teach him lots of ways to stay sane in an insane world, that don't involve being a total asshole.
we could, in the immortal words of Bill and Ted on their Excellent Adventure, all learn to be excellent to each other.
hey, you know what?
maybe I should look at it this way: you may have saved a life, Gin. you're a regular angel. Thanks, Ginmar! I feel so much better, now that I've examined my choice to be humane with my child and endeavor to raise a decent human being.
yeah, if I hadn't already decided that in the first place, without your "help"...
