Friday, September 28, 2007
it's a PATRIARCH! a baby patriarch! (and trust me, if the state of my stomach is any indication, he's already oppressing at a fifth grade level.)
(once again, I shame the matriarchy.)
So our old pal Bimbo dropped by to say hello, and I showed her the blurry little ultrasound picture which, I'm told, clearly reveals evidence of predestination-of-oppressor-status, and she went "Yay! have you thought about a name?"
Well, yeah, I says. we still like Wolfgang. it's non-negotiable, according to the Patriarch-in-chief.
"So, what about a middle name?" she asked. she had some helpful suggestions:
"Caine, Joseph, Angus, Edgar, Huck, Horatio, Hieronymous?"
"eh," I says.
then she gets a little quiet. she smiles. she goes -
"I've got it. it's perfect.
"See, that way," she says, "anytime something breaks, you can say 'I blame the Patriarchy! go to your room!', and when he says 'that's not fair', you can say 'I said, Go to your room! I'm oppressing the Patriarchy!'"
Genius, thy name is Bimbo.
I actually really LIKE the name Wolfgang. Well, I have a cousin named Wolfgang (wolfgang angvar, actually...with a suitably germanic last name, too) and he's always been a favorite cousin...funny kid, good at rugby, loves chocolate.
AND I am sure your wee patriarch will be awesome and cool and all that other good stuff too.
You know what this means? It means YOU get to be the AntiQueen of the house. Because let me tell you, whoever is the primary female, is the one who actually rules things.
The Wolfgang part. Not the Patriarchy part.
Congrats. And get some Weeblocks.
Rootie - thanks for the vote-of-confidence, but I was thinking I might just pass him off to our pal Justicewalks...you know, so much healthier for Class Woman and all if I just refuse to nurse my male neonate...
or, you know, just possibly put even a half-assed amount of effort into raising a human being instead of a total tool.
Because looking at where the kid will be raised and the family the kid will have...lil' Wolf will be very anti-patriarchy.
Diane says the middle name should be Robert after the late great Grandpa Parsons or I say Amadeus.
See you guys some time, Diane says call.
So I'm assuming anytime I get pissed off I can just go ahead and blame it on your son, right?
then again, there might be one good reason to fatten him up. I'm sure I have a copy of Jonathan Swift's Down-Home Family Cookbook around here somewhere...
of course, then I'd have to change the name of the blog to "I Eat the Patriarchy."
Well, probably too much for New England, but he'd be made a quarterback here in the south with a name like that!
(I am such a mean mommy.)
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