Wednesday, September 05, 2007
I don't delete comments, as a rule. not from anyone.
and I'll talk to anybody who shows up. women, men, IRL friends, family, sworn enemies of my best internet pals, conservative republicans, radical feminists, anonymous troublemakers - I try my best to answer every comment, in good faith and with a civil tongue, and as far as I know, I have yet to delete anyone's comment just because I disagree with it or dislike the commenter.
sometimes I fail, yeah. sometimes I don't get a chance to answer every comment. and sometimes my faith is less than good and my tongue less than civil. usually when that's brought to my attention I try to make it right.
and now that I think about it, there was one occasion, back in the mists of time, where I did remove someone's comments from a thread. but I don't make a habit of it, and certainly that commenter is welcome to participate again if s/he likes.
And I know that some folks don't dig how I handle my comment threads. some people that I consider good close friends don't like it. but they seem to understand that's how it is here.
I'd say, if you really have a problem with what I'm saying or how I'm saying it, you are welcome to take advantage of my wide-open comments policy and talk to me about it.
if I say I'll let anyone comment, I mean ANYONE. if anonymous assholes can comment and be treated more-or-less humanely, why can't you? go for it!
And remarkably civil you are about it, too. I know! you let me comment!
well, the MRA or troll or whoever who left something like FUCK YOU DYKE FEMINAZI HAG or whatever it was; really didn't feel the need to continue the conversation or let well-meaning commenters derail by responding to the troll, so, buh bye. f'r instance.
that's really why I delete comments like that tbh; not so much because of the comments themselves but I know -someone's- gonna take the bait even if I don't. If I feel like playing whack-a-troll, then fine, I leave it. If I really don't, though, and there was an interesting discussion going on that i'd really prefer to not get bogged down in "yeah? well FUCK YOU TOO SHETBAG," the easiest thing is to just delete them.
also generally the best way of ensuring they don't come back for a return visit. It's not very entertaining to troll a blog when your precious comments not only aren't responded to but don't even show up.
I manage to avoid unpleasant comments by saying nothing controversial. I am the Inoffensive Shortcake Cookie of the Interwebs. Maybe one day I'll say something offensive just to see what happens.
Otherwise, I agree. I haven't removed any comments yet. But I would certainly delete abusive MRA troll shit, or crap like that.
I was travelling around and found myself here. Curious about your blog title and its striking resemblance to another blog. So, I came to visit.
I check all comments. Some parts of me are stronger than others. Some parts read comments and whatever is said rolls off. Other parts agonize, feel harmed, feel scared, feel angry, want to try and reason with whoever comes.
It takes me time to deal with feelings that come up when I see comments from trolls, who are the only comments I have to worry about these days.
I have two of them. They're just wonderful. I find the imagery disgusting and completely offensive...and I'm pretty open about most things.
They even went so far as to use the blogland nickname I use for my daughter as the name for their comments a while back...I think they switched it back eventually when I still refused to engage.
Their comments I never publish.
They email me every now and then to ask why I haven't published their last comments. I ignore them. They have my link in their sidebar. Somehow I don't feel loved.
But my 2 cents? I think yer fuckin' awesome. free speech after all is kinda a thing for me.
hijack: congrats on the new baby (as mentioned in your profile)! when are you due?
They email me every now and then to ask why I haven't published their last comments.
that's weird. why go to such great lengths to pester you?
I know that IRL/politically speaking, the whole "free speech" thing doesn't really pan out the way it should. but I'm a little proud to say that on my dumb little obscure backwater blog, any commenter can say whatever's on their mind. it's not much, it's not going to change the world, but it's what I've got.
Not dumb, and not as backwater as you think!
"any commenter can say whatever's on their mind. "
Margarine is a culinary travesty.