Sunday, March 25, 2007
1. A friend wins a vacation to a tropical destination and can bring half a dozen friends, you are one of them! You get there and are unpacking your swimsuit and your friend says that it won't be necessary, it's a nude beach. Are you thrilled, no tan lines, or horrified and nervous?
what, you mean I can run around a tropical paradise with no clothes on? sweeeeeeeeeeet. tan lines, schmanlines - I just hate clothes and look stupid in bathing suits. surf's up!
2. Is there any theme to your home decor?
oh, Donna, Donna, Donna - you are so droll. yes, my home decor has a theme, and even a theme song, to wit - Christina Aguillera's "Still Dirrty." all my stuff is second or third or seventh-hand, and just fucking filthy. I'm a slob and don't care about my surroundings. but we never argue about housework!
3. When was the last time you said something like, "Oops, well it seemed like a good idea at the time" and what was the "good idea"?
Marrying Mr. Abusive Ex. I guess that was almost ten years ago by now. Unless it was that time I...with the...oh, yeah, that seemed like a good idea at the time...
4. Do you have any irrational fears? Something you know you shouldn't really be afraid of or at least not to the extent that you are, for example spiders.
aah! bees! bees and wasps. and hornets. and teeth. and dentists. and failure. and confrontation. and being exposed as the fraud I know I truly am, totally undeserving of my great good fortune, deep down inside. and drowning. I could go on.
5. What's love got to do, got to do with it? What's love but a second hand emotion?
who needs a heart, when a heart can be broken?
seriously - well, love is better than nothing. without it we might as well be the walking dead.
I should have soap in a handy place, like I should have Diet Coke in a handy place.
of course, maybe Jesus wouldn't need soap at my house.
Technical Jesus said, "Whatever you have done to the least of my brothers, you did to me." wrt the whole St. Martha Good Housekeeping thing. My Jesus said, "You know that's not about soap."
But actually, no, you know what? You do have a whole Martha thing going on and I recant my earlier complaint, with apology. It's just... Dude: Don't worry about me. I like you with or without the soap, even if your deodorant stopped working in 1979.
I'm nervous now. What if Jesus comes over? I'm in the middle of writing something and I don't want to stop. "Jesus? Would you walk down to the Dunkin' and get me a large toasted almond, extra extra light with skim and four Equals? Thaaaanks. I should be done with this inbout 2-3 hours, so, uh... make yourself comfy." Is that rude? My Jesus says no, I can do anything I want. Check with Rootie on her Jesus and see what he says.
Since, He's God, Jesus would know you wanted doughuts ahead of time, and have a box for you before He knocked on the door.
Jesus was all the time washing peoples feet, so I'm guessing he'd probably like some soap. Maybe Dr. Bronner's Peppermint, or something like it. And a big bowl, and a couple of soft towels. Having your feet washed in the context of a worship service is a remarkable experience.
Not doughnuts, coffee..I read 'Dunkin Donuts' and my mind wandered. He'd definitely bring high quality coffee, because at the wedding in Cana, he changed the water to Bollinger, not Gallo.
My irrational fear is fire. The worst thing I can think of is dying in a fire. I mean, I'm not scared of a flame or anything like that, but if I had candles going and blew them out before bed, I would have to get up and check them a few times just to be sure they are really truly out and not gonna set the house ablaze while everyone is asleep.