Thursday, January 11, 2007

 
This is important to me.

if you've ever had a job in the "service sector", it should be important to you too, in my opinion.

Chuckles works at a video store in the Washington, DC area. Apparently Tucker Carlson, famous widebrimmed asshat, rents movies there.

Chuckles posts on his blog:

Tucker Carlson opened an account last night at my video store. I thought the name seemed familiar but I couldn't figure out why. It was after he left that I realized he was on the list of Gigantic Cobagz. I could tell you what he and his ridiculously wasped-out female companion (wife?) rented if you really want to know. I won't tell you where he lives, though. That would be wrong and stupid. I will also not be running around ordering 10,000 copies of America: The Book and having it sent to his place even if that would be more awesome than frozen urine treats for his home.

and promptly the wheels come off Chuck's wagon.

He's fired. there's private investigators ghosting him. there's people strong-arm threatening his pals. this is going to be very scary and expensive for him.

Seriously - does he deserve this? I think not.

Go check out his site and see for yourself. I mean, don't take my word for it. but if you've ever had the kind of job where bloviating handpuppets with an exaggerated sense of self-importance march in and think they own you - this story will resonate with you.

hat tip to the fine folks at Republic of Dogs.

UPDATE: upon further consideration, and discussion with my better fraction (coiner of the phrase "widebrimmed asshat"), I am compelled to wonder:

does anyone out there know Jon Stewart? or know someone who knows Jon Stewart? or know someone who knows someone who rents storage space to the guy who delivers the morning paper for the woman who walks Jon Stewart's dog? or is the next door neighbor of the stockbroker whose wife is on the PTA with the lady whose nanny is in Jon Stewart's wife's knitting group?

anyone? anyone? if it's true that thing about six or seven "degrees of separation", someone out there has the ear of the man himself, yeah?

and who knows but maybe the mere mention of "l'affaire de Chuckles", all out-n-proud on national TV on The Daily Show, might just be the final humiliation to Tucker Carlson and make him stop being, well, Tucker Carlson.

Chuckles, what do you think?

Comments:
Yeah, a quick correction:

It wasn't a Blockbuster. I have not revealed the name of the store and I won't reveal it.

Other than that, thanks for the support!
 
oh, beg pardon.

ISTM regrets the error, and will correct forthwith.

thanks for the heads up.
 
what a load of crap. nothing illegal about what chuckles did, for fucksake...

chuckles, hell, if you are in the district, I do know the area...why not go big and contact someone over and Georgetown Law School? Some damn fine lawyers and almost lawyers over there who would probably jump at the chance to help you out...
 
what a great idea, RenEv. smart you.
 
The most insulting and damaging thing that you could do to Mr Carlson is to remind him and everyone who is listening that he is an ENTERTAINER.A legend in his own mind.Not a pundit at all...just an entertainer.Sort of like Bozo the Clown without the classy threads.
Also directing people to the video of John Stewart intellectually beating him like a pinyata at a kids 5th birthday should give Mr Carlson some much needed perspective as well.
Has anyone thought of contacting Mr Stewart?I am sure he would help...its obvious he has warm feelings for this guy.
 
you know, that is also not a bad idea, anon.

it's not like that would lower his legal bills or anything, but the sheer pleasure of seeing Tucker Carlson eviscerated live via sattelite (metaphorically speaking, of course) might just ease the pain a little bit.
 
hey, anon - see what happens if you Google "Tucker Carlson" and "bloviating handpuppet".
 
I think that it MAY actually lower his legal bills.Possibly eliminate them entirely..if it was discussed on The Daily Show he would most likely be DELUGED by lawers willing to work Pro-Bono.
Since i concur with chuckles that nothing illegal has transpired that removes the only weapon Mr Carlson can use.The finacial one.Mr Carlson is hoping that the expense of being pulled into court will make gas station attendents and ice cream scoopers everywhere think twice before revealing he uses the cheap gas,or prefers the pink sprinkles that match his G string.
Also i dont think Tuckie-boy wants that video of him playing Cobra to John Stewarts Mongoose to surge back into public awareness.Which it certainly would if it was discussed there.Even if you have seen it you owe it to yourself to see it again...its better than you remember.
In the dictionary next to the word Pwned is a copy of a hyperlink to that.

Now i just need a glass of perspective and a peer group.
 
Also i dont think Tuckie-boy wants that video of him playing Cobra to John Stewarts Mongoose

don't you have a way with words, anon!
 
if I didn't know better I'd think you were trying to flirt with me, Anonymous Commenter.
 
is there not a "contact" tab on Stewart's page on comedycentral.com or even on Colbert's page? just checking.
 
I would assume that the "contact" tag is fake, for privacy purposes.
 
no...like a suggestions box or something...like the real news stations do it. they don't magically know the news. they have to hear it from somewhere like the people who watch the show...it is worth the try anyway. just thinking out loud.
 
Oh, I dunno--Stewart so completely eviscerated Carlson on "Crossfire" that I doubt he cares to keep beating dead horseflesh.

A comparison is instructive through--how many times a day do people blog about Stewart, both pro and con (even when they stalk him on the street), and does he ever attack or insult any of them afterword? Not that I've read, anyway.

And even if he doesn't read the blogs himself, I'm betting he's told about them.
 
hi moochy! welcome.
 
Hi back, princess! Nice to be welcomed. Sorry I didn't catch your greeting earlier.

You and I are both CT people, BTW. I'm more southerly, I guess.

Incidentally, a former intern at the magazine I work at was later an intern at The Daily Show, and as I recall had a happy experience there--but that was in Stewart's early days. ;-)

Anyway, I'm sorry for Chuckles' woes. Tucker's an idjit.
 
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