Saturday, December 30, 2006

and now for something completely different, because not even I can stay so hostile for so long:

My better fraction, dear husband that he is, just came home with a sewing machine. for me. because it was on my christmas list and he pays attention.

it is perfect.

I am so happy.

O sewing machine! O the works of art, the epiphanies of creation, the revelatory visual statements with you I shall create!

gettin' all walt whitman about my sewing machine. I'm such a dork.

all of my other christmas presents were housework-related, ironically. two mixers, a cast-iron skillet, a panini maker (colloquially known as the "sandwich shooter"), a bouquet of utensils - scrapers, flippers, ladles, etc., a cutting board, a set of dishes, an iron...guess now that I have a sewing machine I'll have to whomp up a frilly apron to go with all that kitchen stuff...or something...

"all of my other christmas presents were housework-related"

Huzzah for happy for Christmas gift!
um, yeah. seriously.

I needed an iron, a mixer, some scrapers, a cast-iron skillet and a sewing machine. (swooooon - have I told you about the wondrous miracle of my sewing machine? I am delirious.)

oh, also, I got a gift card to my local yarn store, which I will use to purchase the book on my list.

of course, I still need college tuition, qivut yarn, a cruise, a new dildo, world peace...but I didn't think those were really appropriate to put on my christmas list.

I guess if I needed a power drill, new computer, the new translation of De Beauvoir, or whatever less nauseating gifts that are tops on the list of all the better feminists, I'd have gotten those.
LUCKY! I need to learn how to use one a sewing machine!
What the hell kind of SpaceMan talk was that? "I need to learn how to use one a sewing machine!"

I am hopeless with these Comment boxes. They make me stoopid.
yes, kim, yes you do.
because you can then make beautiful guadalupe dresses for all your friends, and devise all sorts of shiny and fabulous ways to cover thy shame, and make teeny little matching jackets for AnnaZu - there's no end, really.

I was a little snide upthread - sorry.

I'm wicked sensitive about my sewing machine.

it represents an opportunity to make art.

my abusive ex finally allowed me to get a sewing machine, and when I didn't immediately generate ten pairs of leather pants, assless hobble skirts, and ridiculous corsets, he promptly found a hundred pointless ways to prevent me from using my sewing machine to make art.

(I mean - there's many reasons to make leather pants, assless skirts, corsets, etc. - but they're complicated, and more importantly, just not where I was at creatively. if I wasn't pushed and shoved around, maybe I would have come up with an assless-pants-corset-jumpsuit thing...but I digress...)

AND when it came time to sort out our stuff in the divorce - HE TOOK MY SEWING MACHINE. motherfucker.

like he needs one more reason to ROT IN HELL.

So, Husband 3.0 (Husband III - The Better Fraction) marches home with a sewing machine and says - "go make art. make mistakes. experiment. get crazy. make transcendent visual statements. have fun."

just the fact that he was paying attention enough to notice - fills me with joy and optimism.

now that I have both motive and opportunity, maybe I'll actually get some stuff done, visually.

so, yeah, sorry I was a little defensive.

the kitchen-oriented presents were also both cool and useful and necessary, and from people I really love.
what will you make first? in case you dont already go, please can i introduce you to :)
you know, v - I'm as they say starved for choice - I don't have any idea what I'll do first.

thanks for the link! that was nice!
no probs - i love that place :D
why wouldn't a new dildo be appropriate?

what's qivut yarn?

and, dude: making a corset on a sewing machine! jesus, i'm lucky if i can thread the needle and sew a button back on. usually i just take it to the dry cleaners, or ignore it. but then i am Klutzy.

my grandfather used to be in the garment industry. not too many years ago he demonstrated he's still able to thread a needle and sew something (by hand). he's, what, in his late 80's now.
AP: "it represents an opportunity to make art."

I REALLY need to learn to sew!
Maybe I can find an adult night class or something, seriously.
Sewing is awesome! You get to have all those clothes you want but can never find because the stoopid stores don't carry them. Congrats on your sewing machine- it's as exciting as getting a new car, in my book.
I envy you. I had a little sewing machine, for making curtains and such, but I fucking FORGOT it when I moved!! ARG!

So, I'm having to put that on my list o things to get when I have more money. I'm thinking I really want to learn how to make shirts, because I can never find them long enough! I hate, hate, hate shirts that stop at your waist. What's with that? If you have even the slightest bludge, guess what shows? Gah. And I'm fricking tall, people. I need more length. Grr.

Ahem. Sorry. I need to find myself a decent machine, a good tunic pattern and start playing around. Hrm. My mother sewed all my clothing as a kid, so I know how useful the things are.
why wouldn't a new dildo be appropriate?

Is it terrible that the only gifts I bought for my hunny were sex-related? After all, she's an atheist and has told me multiple times that anything resembling a Christmas gift will be burned in a pagan sacrifice, and them damn pagans sure knew how to fuck, right? 8^D

And on that note, Happy New Year, antiprincess! And everyone else, especially Witchy-woo, whom I'm pretty sure hates my guts.
I don't think your defensiveness was unreasonable.

I want a cast-iron skillet! Have you used it yet? Is it cool?!
Happy New Year, friend.
ap-i think i know where he got the idea for the sewing machine...
Hey, AP--I'm late to the game. But, I sew. Even done the corsetry madness.
who knew it would ever be a "thing" to come out "pro-sewing".
qivut yarn is yarn made from the fleece of a qivut - a big old yak-ox-thing.

I believe it's native to the arctic circle? maybe I'm wrong?
another good link - if you are looking for unwanted fabrics, yarns, pins, needles, etc etc etc, (sometimes even unused sewing and knitting machines :D) i have found my local freecycle invaluable. if you look for or request old textiles (clothes, bedclothes, etc) you'd be surprised what turns up, and you can patchwork all the smaller bits together.
Mmm, sewing. I ought to get back to that one of these days. Not that my skills go much beyond poet's shirts and other stuff you can make out of four big squares, but still.

I want a cast-iron skillet too. It's one of those items evey serious kitchen needs, though I never put it on my wishlist because, well, I needed The Ladies of Grace Adieu more.
yeah - that shirt is just four big squares, isn't it?

that's not hard at all.
Everyone should own a cast iron skillet, well seasoned. The best place to get them is at flea markets. I own 5, from 5 inches up to 24 inches across. They're great for keeping The Patriarch in line.
They're great for keeping The Patriarch in line.

enjoy! i have sewing machine, sorta. it's of interest only in so far as i wish to refinish it and make it look pretty. :)

when i sewed my maternity clothes, i got sick ofit taking forever and hated sewing hemlines. So i learned how to use sitch witchery for everything, including sometimes seams. Yep.

speaking of dildoes. i had to dig around to find some shoe polish. called sonshine who told me that it might be in three places. poking around, finally, in the drawer, I come across his ex-girlfriend's vibrator. we took a pic and may blog this fun! experience for . . . mommy! but hey, you know, i'm diggingit that my 18 year old is not intimated by them (some men are) and, i'm gonna guess, they made it a mutual part of their relationship.

i'm so glad we have split bedroom housing though. (whatever the term for it when the master br is sep. from guest /rest of family br's)
for a second i thought you were gonna say you were putting shoe polish on the dildo, which, i was all, dude, could be aesthetically interesting, but i'd feel kind of ishy about using it afterward...
wow - you can use stitch witchery for seams?

no shit.

Now see - I've had good results with Skippy's brand Dildo Polish.
oh yeah. get the industrial strength version for denim and that sitch witchery will hold up to some abuse -- including every growing tummy. starts to look weak and stretch. apply more.

this may be why, of course, that while i was supposed to be a sale rep / banquet maanager at my job at the time, fucking people didn't think nothing of me running around with heels and skirted suit on, pushing banquet tables and chairs, with an 8months pregnancy tummy kinda in my way. [1]

i guess people took one look at my stitch witchery skills and thought, this broad is more suited to furniture moving.

[1] (i did that b/c we had this set up guy who was hired to move this stuff. he was a drunk though and never showed up on time. being the one who sold the banquet, wedding recption, or conference, it was my job to see to it that nothing went wrong. hence, moving furniture. Also, being all of 21, I was not very good at rounding up random people and saying, "Do this." Much older now, I have learned my assertiveness skillz. And they are mad.
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