I shame the matriarchy

Been there, done that...all this civility on my own blog must be making my trigger finger itch... BB and I are not friendly either, but when assholery goes too far, and gets that nasty, well...you know.

And I can see myself going several rounds with mr. mens natural sexual desires dictate...sheesh.
 

I went and left some hate mail for Axinar, since I was offended that he offered prostitution as a cure for rape, and "men's shelters" as a complement to shelters for battered women.

Nothing is more irritating than reading people's evolutionary explanations for cultural problems like sexual violence.
 

o lordie. you know, "men's shelters" might be one thing; but seeing as how this is coming from some asshat who thinks it's a compliment that some other asshole wants to "slip her the sausage" (why do men like this always tend toward the loathsomely cutesy when talking about Teh Sex?) and that, further, the tendency to rape is "genetic" (NEXT)...yeah, dude, okay: get thee to a nunnery, go. i mean if it's so GENETIC and all; maybe -you- should be the one locked up.

and yeah ok, if this is the kind of shithead that BB and others most encounter being enthusiastic for teh pr0n, no fucking wonder they take the position that they do.

heartless bitch that i am, i must add that assholish as he is, wrt "so, why stay with [that other asshole] anyway?", i have wondered that myself...

and yeah, again: what joseph said wrt the sheer irritation factor of armchair evolutionary psychologists. i think next time i encounter that one in person i'ma just -bite- the asshole; then, when he whines,

"Look, I'm part praying mantis; didn't I say? I can't help it! It's genetic!"
 

I've just followed the link to Axinar and want to say, I applaud you all.

:)
 

aw heck, witchy - it's not like we're being oh-so-brave.

and maybe CoolAunt is right when she says that commenting on his site benefits him in terms of cash and traffic.

but speaking up is a feminist value. and I'd be a bigger hypocrite than usual if I just let this guy do his thing without answering it somehow.
 

I just read all the comments at BB's and it struck me how, when faced with an obvious wrong, women of all stripes spoke out to defend BB's right to hurt and her right to say she hurt (and some of RE's defences were almost radical! ;)).

Unity in the face of a common enemy? I don't know what it is or why it's happening but it's warming my cockles, whatever it is.
 

what are your measurements? I'll knit you a cockle-cozy.

seriously - It makes me happy that you're pleased.
 

Unity in the face of a common enemy?

Yes, and you know how much you ENJOY being angry at men ...

And you'll rarely find one that can make you more angry than ME ... :)
 

Yes, and you know how much you ENJOY being angry at men ...

And you'll rarely find one that can make you more angry than ME ... :)

are you addressing your comment to Witchy, or to me?
 

Witchy-Woo mainly -

But all of my new adoring fans in general ... :)
 

WW:

"I just read all the comments at BB's and it struck me how, when faced with an obvious wrong, women of all stripes spoke out to defend BB's right to hurt and her right to say she hurt (and some of RE's defences were almost radical! ;))."

I know, it's spooky. Y'all are messing with my head, aren't ya...lemmie get my tinfoil hat.

In all seriousness...I do what I do by choice and all, but that does not mean I do not see the reality and pain of women who have been hurt/abused/raped, and I am feeling pretty bad about the way I went off on Amaranta because *I* have a bad temper. No need to kick someone when they are down...and BB was getting kicked.

What is that old stupid theory? No one beats up on my brother but me? Eh, kind of fits...

And Ax so has a rival for the "angry human 2006" award...
 

mWAH

you know, I've never had a troll. I've never had a commenter that was just too badly behaved to be seen in public. I've never ever had to delete or ban anyone. I don't intend to start now. if you want to make a total ass of yourself all over the Intarweb, I'm certainly not going to stand in your way any further.

I'm not sure how you'll benefit by throwing a snarky little tantrum here, axinar. but do what you gotta do.

I'm sure we will all watch with interest.
 

oh joyousness, another whitehetboy who can -make people mad at him.- that's a rare gift, it is. that and the ability to go into a crowd at rush hour and kick a random person on the shin. it's so, you know, -edgy.-
 

but enough of this gay banter; let's get down to business.

so, axinar:

Can you play "Melancholy Baby?"
 

antip: no trolls? what about lizard girl? i think actually she and axolotl here would make a charming couple...
 

>I'll knit you a cockle-cozy

When I was a kid, I (apparently) used to say,

'My giblets hurt."

who knows why, or what i thought i meant.
 

I've never had to actually ban someone or delete their comments.

and even poor old Phemi - bless her little pink socks - I got no hard feelings (stubbornly). She says her piece from time to time and I assume feels vindicated in that.
 

some asshat who thinks it's a compliment that some other asshole wants to "slip her the sausage"

see, right there I was turned off.
Food scenes = HARD limit.
 

So you've said.

Skimming over Prince Charming's latest flurry of posts, it occurs to me that the heart of his gripe is the business about how BB (along with her partner who did the deed) considers "nagging" into sex worthy of being tagged "rape."

I've had my own thoughts on the subject, but at this point wrt BB and her partner themselves, y'know, it's kind of between them, seems to moi.

as to why boy wonder here is getting his underoos in a knot over it, one can only speculate.

of course, even if one does not necessarily deem "nagging" into a pity fuck or a "god all RIGHT anything to just get him to shut UP" fuck, "rape," it still doesn't mean the nagger in question isn't an unsocialized jerk who might really consider spending his energies elsewhere. a crash course in "how to win friends and influence people," "empathy 101," soap, that sort of thing.

as for the suggestion that prostitution might prevent rape, -any- rape; um, i'm sort of hesitant to really follow the logic for that one, but it's hard not to conclude that it's based in the belief that rape is something that happens because you know men get the URGE, and need an outlet.

which, dude, that was certainly never one of the reasons why i'd support (any) prostitution, and i would tend to doubt the actual prostitutes who choose and enjoy their profession (not to mention the many who don't) would do so either.

i mean, if it's really THAT difficult to control oneself, perhaps one might consider locking them/oneself up for the greater good of humanity, you know.

but then it's a lot more romantic to consider oneself some sort of wild animal, you know, some sort of bullshit quasi-Rousseau/Iron John sort of goddam thing i guess, then, well, again: unsocialized jerk, pure and simple.

anyway if the URGE is so very universal and hard to control then what's with all the floods of Viagra?

no, puppy. among human beings, at least, rape mentality comes out of mens' -fear and loathing.- Of sex, of bodies, of women...and of themselves. Ain't nothing natural about that.
 

and then, too, of course, it's really up to the rapee to determine whether or not her experience was "rape." yep, even after the fact. that may or may not always work -legally-, but what a lot of geniuses don't seem to understand is that here on the Internetz we are not, in fact, in a court of law; and it is common courtesy (at the very minimum) to not -tell- someone else what her experience does or doesn't mean, much less mock at her for it. Even if one does have strong personal reactions to the way the person in question talks about -other- peoples' experiences, and may think to oneself that simply based on the person's other words, there may be some boundary issues at work here, in general, and at the end of the day, on second thought, one thinks it best, personally, to stay the hell away from this person and leave her to her process, whatever it is.
 

"unsocialized jerk, pure and simple"

you talkin' to me? ;)
 

heh. you're plenty socialized, darlin'. you just don't give a fuck about certain societies. there's a difference.
 

BD - I can honestly say with hand on heart I have never, ever thought of you as 'cute'. But this;
"When I was a kid, I (apparently) used to say,

'My giblets hurt."
is just sooooo cute!
 

"the ability to go into a crowd at rush hour and kick a random person on the shin"

Now, let's remember this isn't a "random person" we're talking about.

We're talking about someone who sent La Shawn Barber and Michelle Malkin into a tizzy over calling a human embryo a "parasite", you know ...
 

"I've had my own thoughts on the subject, but at this point wrt BB and her partner themselves, y'know, it's kind of between them, seems to moi."

Nope.

The way she originally said it was, "If you've ever nagged someone into having sex, you're a rapist."

That is SO not cool ...
 

and it is common courtesy (at the very minimum) to not -tell- someone else what her experience does or doesn't mean, much less mock at her for it.

The hell it is.

She wasn't saying, "This partner of mine is an unreasonable S.O.B. who nagged me so bad into having sex I felt like a cavewoman who had just been clubbed."

No ... it was more along the lines, "If you have ever nagged someone into having sex YOU are a rapist."

Which pretty much means she's accusing EVERY man of being a rapist.

And, yes, someone who makes such an accusation needs told about herself.
 

LaShawn Barber and Malkin noticed her, eh?

and yes, BB does have a tendency to extrapolate from the personal to the universal; it's annoyed me, also.

it still doesn't make your posts on how -grateful- a formerly raped (as in, multiple rapes, not just this dude) person ought to be that anyone is still willing to fuck her any less loathsome.

or the quasi-evolutionary business any less risible. seriously, what is it you think you're trying to accomplish here?
 

more to the point:

can you or can't you?
 

well then, I am a rapist, cause I have SURE AS HELL, goaded Mr. Evolution into doing me when he had other things on his mind.

Lock me up, ladies...

Granted, Mr Evolution is a FOOT taller and 95 pounds heavier than I am, but...
 

Okay, this is RE laughing....I just hit the blog where Ax lives, and do you know what he had to say after I pointed out that women CAN be aggressively violent and that I am not a rad fem or a woman out to entrap a man...

(crickets)

Yeah, that is what I thought.
 

LaShawn Barber and Malkin noticed her, eh?

Oh, goodness yes ... Michelle Malkin and LaShawn Barber made a video blog about B.B. as a matter of fact ...
 

Malkin goes without saying, but I hadn't been acquainted with Barber till recently; she, too, has -serious- springs coming out her head.

i didn't realize they actually talked -to each other;- god, talk about your Mad Tea Party.
 

Oh, yeah ... Michelle Malkin and La Shawn Barber are two of the big-time female Conservative bloggers.

Actually, from talking with them, B.B. was a HAIR away from making mainstream media coverage with the "parasite" line.

That would have been big time fascinating.

And, for whatever reason, I have this feeling she'll figure out SOME way to make MSM coverage at some point ...
 

anixar - the "don't nag" thing comes from this:

If a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
If a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
If a woman is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
If a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
If a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
If a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.
If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
If your step-daughter is watching TV, don't rape her.
If you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
If your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.
If your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.
Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.
Don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
Don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
Don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
Don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.

A well known anti rape circular.


And with regard to this:

Yes, and you know how much you ENJOY being angry at men ...

And you'll rarely find one that can make you more angry than ME ... :)

Don't rate yourself, kid. You know nothing about my life - and who ranks where is my decision to make, not yours.
 

Say ...

Is this the blog that got B.B. to trying to drown herself in the shower?
 

I haven't even looked and I know it's not.

Jesus Christ on a bike. It's got to something when people can't even recognise another's suffering without taking the piss out of it, hasn't it?
 

I just watched that Malkin Barber thing...oh my god...
 

WW:

Some guys have too much time on their hands.

That video clip...ugh.
 

I particularly love Malkin and Barber and that lot referring to anyone -else- as "not in touch with reality."

"ms. pot? ms. kettle is on line two for you..."

and way to miss the point that hello, wouldn't have had to do it in the first place if E.C. had been readily available. no; we're shocked, shocked! Malkin is, at the sheer -nastiness- of it all.

honestly i don't know why lightning doesn't just strike some people.

and i do have a little list, there...
 

oh, and classic: Barber finishes saying how she doesn't believe in being delicate about the poor womens' feelings (if they choose an abortion); she "calls a thing what it is" (i.e. murder). Followed immediately by blonde whosis tut-tutting about how "callous" liberals are toward women who regret their abortions. yes; please tell us more about how "callous" everyone -else- is, Malkin-teers. oh please do.

and by the way, BB isn't a "liberal" by pretty much anyone's standards including her own, as far as I know; but i think for some people pretty much everyone to the left of Genghis Khan are "liberals," in the Ann Coulter sense of "puppy-raping cannibals," I mean.
 

...oh jeeeezus. it's "unfeminist" for Planned Parenthood to try to shut down the anti-abortion subterfuge centers; "they're not scaring the women! they're giving them information!" um, yeah, -false- information; but don't let that stop you...

jesus fuck, why am i even watching this thing? i just sewed my eyeballs back in and everything.
 

BD:

Its kinda like acar crash, hard to look away...
 

Which pretty much means she's accusing EVERY man of being a rapist.

Projecting much?

I hate to break it to you, kiddo, but EVERY man has not nagged someone into having sex. Sorry. Try again.
 

I am SO knocking on the door of Pariah of the Rad/Feminist Blogs.
 

meh - maybe I overstated the case.

but I'm not so popular.
 

kim - would you email me?

laurelresources AT yahoo DOT com
 

How's this for civility:

My feeling about anyone who's so desperate for an "outlet" is: I have one of those right here on my wall. You're more than welcome to go at it.

I realize it's probably not the best fit for that tool you're packing, but I bet we can find something to wrap it in.
 

Kim: in answer to your question on your blog (i.e. "why can't I just let it go?"), I think it has to do with what's called "sanctuary trauma." It's worse to feel abused somewhere that was supposed to be a -safe space- (and/or by/among "safe people") than it was or would ever be by people you never really trusted in the first place. Particularly when these are the people you were turning to for -help.-
 

Dan: would it be horribly unfeminist if I were to say, "meow!" ?
 

Not unless it's horribly unfeminist of me to get a naughty little thrill from you doing so.

(Blame NaNo. I've been writing in a sardonic female voice for a week and a half now, and I think it's starting to take.)
 

but I'm not so popular.

You clearly haven't looked at MY trackers lately ... :)
 

axinar - high stats are nice, don't get me wrong (and really I had no idea), but I feel like, as far as the radfemblogosphere goes, there are more places where my comments are specifically UNwelcome than where they are welcome.

this could be my own perception, and not an accurate reflection of reality, but that's how it seems to me.
 

not gonna do it. Not my style and I'd fall all to pieces if someone did it to me.
 

rootie - totally not my finest hour, I know.