Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Call Rob Reiner! it's the return of SPINAL TAP!

I know some of y'all think I oughta get my head examined but this is getting out of hand.

the triage nurse shakes her head and gets the nurse practictioner. the nurse practitioner clucks her tongue and gets the physicians assistant. the physician's assistant scribbles something on a clipboard and gets the on call doc. the on call doc gets the ER neurologist - we play some fun mercy-type games and then he orders tests. the ER neurologist scans the CAT and pronounces it "negative" (in the good way) but wants to confirm with a lumbar puncture.

45 minutes of "you're going to feel a little pressure" and one wild-ass sciatic-nerve crisis later, the guy says "I can't torture you any further. I'm sorry. here, take some of this motrin and call this neurologist in the morning." I was too shook-up to give him shit about it. God, the sweat, the fear, the pain of a lumbar puncture gone awry.

I keep trying to tell people "headache? migraine? bad crabmeat?" and they shake their heads and go "stroke...stroke...stroke..."

but we don't know until we see the neurologist.

y'all rock for checking up on me.


fingers crossed for non-suckage at neurologist's
after all the sense of urgency created by my doctor, and the ER doctor, and everyone even tangentially related - the neurologist can't see me for WEEKS.

so is it dire or not? should I wreck myself worrying or not?

It tries the patience.

I'll try again tomorrow.

I just now saw your posts. So sorry to hear about this!! It definitely sucks to play "the waiting game" - especially when you are in pain! I, too, have my fingers crossed that things go well (or at least don't suck) at the neurologist's.

We are thinking of you and hoping for the best!
wtf? that sounds really frightening ap. i hope you're ok.

Sending good thoughts your way. Hang in there.
yoinks! i hope the neurologist can see you soon.
hang in there, kiddo, we're all behind you...

Don't wreck yourself, it'll just make it worse. Seriously. In my experience, now, because of CYA, fear of lawsuits, etc. a lot of doc brows get furrowed if it does in fact turn out to be the worst it could possibly be, so they treat/worry/furrow for the most dire possibility. The brother (ER doc) confirms that this is a prevailing practice.

But you know, take care of yourself in the meantime. I know nothing about the pain of which you speak, but here's some happy thoughts for you...

I still remember the tsuris best friend went through when we were both in grad school. He'd gone to the doctor for the flu; they didn't like the sound of something or other and put him through a barrage of unpleasant-sounding tests (*poke* "does this hurt? how about THIS??") and took some X-rays.
apparently they found something they didn't like the looks of.

so they leave it ON HIS ANSWERING MACHINE that they're afraid he might have lung cancer. come in for more tests. *beeeep*

as it turns out, it wasn't. took days if not weeks before they cleared that up, though.

and he never did get his flu medication.
I was just waiting for someone in the room to start singing "Big Bottoms" as my ass was sticking up...get it?

you guys are so awesome.

I'm back at work today. I'm grateful for the routine.
I hate that you're having to deal with this. I agree with the others that you should NOT wreck yourself worrying about it, but if you observe any sudden changes, new symptoms, etc., you should follow up as quickly as possible (via ER if necessary). And if you find that you're wrecking yourself worrying about it, call the neurologists office & ask if they have a waitlist for cancellations (this only works if you're a short distance away, as it can be extremely short notice). Most places don't do this any more, but it's worth a try.
What alphabitch said.

Much as the "health care" industry sucks, I have a hard time believing that if they -really- thought it was a stroke, they'd just leave you to it like this.

...this isn't an insurance thing, is it?
strangely, no.
more sucky doctor stories, speaking of having one's ass in the air:

I'm getting a melanoma removed. well, the actual spot was removed earlier; this is the follow-up, digging out a ginormous lump of flesh on all sides. it's considered "major surgery," but because of where it is it's a local anaesthetic.

the dermatologist/surgeon, whom i later take to calling "sweetie" because that's what she calls me in a particularly unctuous, saccharine tone, has LITE FM on as she works. and starts SINGING ALONG TO IT.
along with her helpers.

and you know, once you're flat on your stomach with someone digging sharp things into your body, you figure it's probably not the best time to start voicing objections to anything that might make the digger happy.

but dear bleeding christ. like i'm not miserable enough without an offkey chorus of Celine Fucking Dion ringing in my ear??

oh and she keeps up a running commentary, as she always does; the nurses are in training. at one point, "there's a -lot- of fat here."

at this point i must've made some sort of grunt; she immediately switches back to sweetie mode. coos: "Oh, not -you- sweetie! This part of the back. That's what i meant."

when they're finally finished, and they're clearing up, one of the minions goes, "wanna see what we took out?" Before i can stop her, she's thrusting a large yellow gelatinous blog in my face.

i love doctors
uh "gelatinous blob," snerk.
"gelatinous blog"

what are you trying to say, belledame?

"We're here! we're blogging! we're gelatinous! get used to it!"
"the Martians are coming! the Martians are coming!..."
Oh dear. I'd love to be proven wrong, but right now i'm of the opinion that most doctors suck.

Hang in there, ap...
lumbar puncture? OW! Hope thing turn out okay.
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